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  • Writer's pictureMandy Mee


Updated: Jun 26, 2020

The easiest way to get lost during the early stages of dating is by ignoring all the warning signs. When you're lost in the sauce of attention, infatuation, materialism and all that good stuff, it's important to ensure you're not setting yourself up for another time wasting relationship conundrum with Mr Wrong. So here are 5 Things To Observe To Know A Man's True Colours.


1. Observe how he reacts when you stop initiating conversations or communication

If he remains silent when you refrain from initiating conversations, he either has an immature "tit for tat" mentality, always expects you to take the lead, has a lazy approach to dating, lacks communication skills, has a narcissistic personality, lacks emotional intelligence or is probably not that into you. Date someone who cares about your silence not one who gets mad and sulks over it.

2. Observe how he treats people in general, especially those who are emotionally vulnerable

If he treats the waiter or manager with less respect than the C.E.O or looks down on the homeless, he's not a humble Man, and only shows respect to a person based on their class or accolades. If he disrespects them, he'd disrespect you.

3. Observe his reaction when you discuss an achievement.

If he seems unbothered, downplays your achievements, or never shares your excitement, he's either insecure, jealous, a machiavellian, and always wants to be the center of attention. Date someone who shares your happiness and looks forward to seeing you happy.

4. Observe times he's actually been there for you when in "need".

It's so easy to get distracted by butterflies, infatuation and intense attention but take a moment to list out every time you've been in "need" and assess if he's ever been there for you during those times. For example perhaps you "needed" his help to clear a debt but instead he buys you a designer bag you didn't ask for, that's worth the same price as the debt Or the day you "needed" him to pick up the Kids from school is the day he decides to book an irrelevant appointment instead of stepping up and showing up. If he's never been there for you when in need, he has a self centered tendency of doing things on his own terms - It's either his way or the highway. Build with someone who understands team work and values a relationship.

5. Observe his response when you ask what he learned from his past relationships.

If he gives you only one metaphoric mediocre answer, he certainly didn't learn a lot from his past relationships and will most likely repeat and project the same patterns with you. Identify his lessons and see if he's become a scholar of relationships through his actions.

It's more important to date a Man who matches your values, discipline and kind nature than someone who likes everything you like that's within your hobbies and interests. He may share your interest but lack common decency, respect for others and empathy. Observation gives you an idea of who you intend to lay with.

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